Dreams

Just woke up in the middle of the day, bad dream.

The dream is as follows:

gary and I were in a bank, for some reason we were standing in diffrent lines. Trey was with gary. As I was standing in line, I hear a door bell going off again and again. Some bank employee starts yelling at Trey. I am so embaraced. Then I get mad. Gary retrieves Trey, still standing in line. They do what they have to do and then join me in my line. We finally get done what every I have to do, I am soooo mad. so I take an Autism card up to the employee that yelled at Trey, he blows me off. So I find the bank manager, tell him about it and complain. I ask him to have mr hot shot yelling man to write a report on Autism if the bank wants to keep my business and the manager retreves the autism card from the trash walks Gary and I out of the bank. Gary has put Trey into the Red Escort. For some reason we still have that car, and somehow Gary and I get into another car. Gary is controlling the red car by remote control. I ask him why he didnt have one of us ride in the other car with trey. He didnt think about it. so like Gary. Anyway, as we drive, we are driving down here, in Texas that much I know. As we drive, because of stop lights and all, the red car gets ahead of us. I am very upset. Gary has to swerve around another car and run a red light to catch up to Trey in the Red car. I am scared that trey has crawled out of his seat and gotten into the drivers seat. We come up to an intersection and the red car is pulled over half up on the curb, Trey is out of the car. I think Trey is walking around the car but I can't see him. The people around the scene are asking where his parents are.

Then I wake up.

My mom is trying to guilt me about not spending enough time with the kids, about needing to do something about my living arrangement. She is not happy with how my life is going. OF course she asks me in the same breath what I would do without wayne. *shaking head* She just wants for me to have some screw up like the rest of her kids. Guess mine is loving too much. yeah somedays I could scream, but over all the needs of my kids are met, and the household runs. The kids are looked after and I dont have to put in 100% of the work, or even 95% of it. I would say it is more balanced than that.

She doesnt approve anyway. She doesnt want to see me divorced, she dont want to see wayne out of the picture, but she doesnt want me to continue on this way. What the hell does she want? that's what I cant figure out. Lord in heaven help me, I am toomuch of a people pleaser. my birth family is still screwing me up, will I forever be their symptom child?