Read on McDuff

I've had someone make one comment on one of my previuos posts.

Now it's like I kinda want someone to look at it, and I kinda don't. It's like someone reading your mail or a stranger finding your diary and reading it. In a way I would really like some validation about my thoughts and feelings, but in a way I am scared to death of rejection. Obsessive Compulsive that I am, I've had to add a photo to my profile now. Cuz someone might actually read it. LOL Are we (amercians, women, you name the group) really so starved for intellicual connections with others, that we go out of our way to find annonomous strangers to connect and communication with?

WTF does that say bout our society?

Are we really so straved for someone to just listen?

Hell I dont want anyone to "FIX" my problems, I just want a place to voice them in safety without causing harm to my relationships or myself. Some place to 'blow steam' or "vent" just someplace to pout quietly and not have anyone try to make it all better. I'm a big girl, I know that no one can make it all better but me. I know it's my perception that dictates my moods. It's "living the full spots of my life and getting over the empty ones" that will make my happiness achievable. Gezzzzzz. I just want a place to be who I am in my own head.

YEs the people pleaser in me wants someone to understand me without the need of $100 per hour therapy sessions. Beside those over educated psycho-babbaling idoits are even more screwed up than the rest of us. I know, I work with them. THEY go to other shirkens more often than the rest of us do. LOL Being in health care gives me such a clear prospective on life.

I dont want someone hurtful to read my thoughts. But yeah I kinda would like to connect with other people in a non-threatening enviroment. a la internet strangers.

I find myself checking to see if anyone has posted to my blog.... OCD again. ((Obsessive compulsive disorder))

* chuckles* yeah.... what a lovely state of affairs.

more later.