What a week.
Last saturday, went to Target to get a "magic bullet blender" KC has been asking for one since before last christmas. So we go, at the check out, Gary is pitching such a bitch at me, I walked off without my Visa debit card. Didnt realize it until late that night. Had to work Sunday, so didnt call it in. Monday rolls around, and all this charges start rolling into my bank account. WTF!!!!!
Someone picked up my card and had a hell of a party on my dime. About one grand of a party. Crap, so monday afternoon was taken up with filing police reports and bank reports, and running all over creation to try and stop the hemraging bank account.
How do you spend $175.00 on crawfish? I mean, gezzzzzzz, and then 200.00 on grocies? Must be one big crawfish boil, beer drinking party.
On top of this I am stressing over this microbiology class. The summer session sounded like such a good idea at the time. Get it over with quick. Yeah right. Make the death quick and painless. yeah riiiight.
Finally got ahold of Elaine about writting me a refernce for the upward mobilty program. It will next summer before I can start it, and a year to complete the program. So TWO freaking years till I have that every elusive Real Nurse.
Then on top of money troubles, I get cancelled from work today. I cant afford to keep getting cancelled. This is gonna start some seriuos pinch the pocketbook. Just as the mortgage sitsuation is about to resolve itself.
Trey's teeth --oral surgery unknown
my teeth -- again, oral surgery 3grand
KC glasses -- couple hundred
Trey glassess -- couple hundred
Gary glassess -- again couple hundred
me glassess -- yeah
Trees and fences of house
Old medical bills paid off
Outstanding debts to be paid off --- tired of making payments.
some sort of savings????
Retirement funds????
House remodel -- pay for as we go. Bigger stuff have to save up for.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Rita Aftermath
short review:
G gets home from AK, I was working extra hours to help pay for that trip. Next thing ya know, we are getting ready to evac d/t hurricane RITA. What a bitch. The news and local athorities were saying pack for 3 days. What a freaking joke. Handed kids off to my parents. After 4 days of 12+ hour shifts, I got home in time to pack up my importance documents, pictures, sentimental items of ulmate value, and computers with all my records in it. Had signed up to help the hospital get the pts out. After about a 3 hour nap, I get a frantic call asking how fast I can get to work. Aparently the other nurses bailed out on our patients. Lazy assed, gold digging, self centered bitches. So I went. Those patients were helpless, they had to choices, they were defensless. They needed me.
I went with the patients up to Shreveport, LA. Rode the ambulances with them. The nightmare ensued. 2 weeks of living onthe unit with the patients, 24-7. Then a week at a rent house just to get away from the hospital. My parents came to Shreveport with the kids and my older brother. They stayed inthe hospital with me. We had no where else to shelter them. All hotels were full, all rent houses were full. The one we got found us. A school chum of Dad's, that he had not seen in 45 years, found out about us. "Cozy" happened to live in Shreveport and is loaded with $$$$. He had a rent house that he let us have for free. So, unknowing how long we would be there, we moved into the house. Air matteress, and plastic chairs were the order of the day. The kids in two diffrent schools, with bussing problems.
Most of the folks in LA were nice to us, all of the Promise staff that went. Out of approx 70 employees, only 7 of us went with the pts. How cheesey is that. Now that I am removed from the immediate stress of the situtation I can vent.
After a week in the rent house, I'd had it, it was time to go home. So the parents, kids, brother and I loaded up and left. Cozy's house became home to some of the remaining Promise employees. That was really great of him. They could now relax and get out of the motels and stuff.
That first week in LA I worked 160 hours. it was almost more than any human should be asked to do. The LA hospital though we were providing all the staff, we thought they were.... so we get stuck out alot of the time. The company gave us bounuses, but at that point it was not about money any longer.. it was about endurance. It was about doing the right thing.
We did get out with the kids a few times. Went to the Red River Arts Revel, and Sci-Port. They had a blast there, got to watch 3 day old allagators being fed minows. really cool that. Took Older brother to a car museam. That was cool and I got some pictures.
Mom tried to buy everything in Shreveport Wal-Mart and Dollars stores so we would have to drag it back home. She just dont listen or care, guess retail therapy is the only help she'll ever seek for her psycotic behavior.
Now we are home. Getting things cleaned up. We need repairs, but it's gonna take awhile. The mortgage thing is on terminal hold now. The repairs have to be completed and another appraisal done before we can move forward on that. Maybe sometime next year we will actually owe the bank, instead of W, for this house.
The tree removal was done mostly by older brother, it took about 15 hours of moving debris, and bout 5 hours of cutting with chainsaw. We lost alot of trees, all our fences, the shed, some windows, the car port, some roof damage, and just general mess.
After a week of steady work it's actually starting to look like home again.
THAT'S why I havent posted in about two months.
G gets home from AK, I was working extra hours to help pay for that trip. Next thing ya know, we are getting ready to evac d/t hurricane RITA. What a bitch. The news and local athorities were saying pack for 3 days. What a freaking joke. Handed kids off to my parents. After 4 days of 12+ hour shifts, I got home in time to pack up my importance documents, pictures, sentimental items of ulmate value, and computers with all my records in it. Had signed up to help the hospital get the pts out. After about a 3 hour nap, I get a frantic call asking how fast I can get to work. Aparently the other nurses bailed out on our patients. Lazy assed, gold digging, self centered bitches. So I went. Those patients were helpless, they had to choices, they were defensless. They needed me.
I went with the patients up to Shreveport, LA. Rode the ambulances with them. The nightmare ensued. 2 weeks of living onthe unit with the patients, 24-7. Then a week at a rent house just to get away from the hospital. My parents came to Shreveport with the kids and my older brother. They stayed inthe hospital with me. We had no where else to shelter them. All hotels were full, all rent houses were full. The one we got found us. A school chum of Dad's, that he had not seen in 45 years, found out about us. "Cozy" happened to live in Shreveport and is loaded with $$$$. He had a rent house that he let us have for free. So, unknowing how long we would be there, we moved into the house. Air matteress, and plastic chairs were the order of the day. The kids in two diffrent schools, with bussing problems.
Most of the folks in LA were nice to us, all of the Promise staff that went. Out of approx 70 employees, only 7 of us went with the pts. How cheesey is that. Now that I am removed from the immediate stress of the situtation I can vent.
After a week in the rent house, I'd had it, it was time to go home. So the parents, kids, brother and I loaded up and left. Cozy's house became home to some of the remaining Promise employees. That was really great of him. They could now relax and get out of the motels and stuff.
That first week in LA I worked 160 hours. it was almost more than any human should be asked to do. The LA hospital though we were providing all the staff, we thought they were.... so we get stuck out alot of the time. The company gave us bounuses, but at that point it was not about money any longer.. it was about endurance. It was about doing the right thing.
We did get out with the kids a few times. Went to the Red River Arts Revel, and Sci-Port. They had a blast there, got to watch 3 day old allagators being fed minows. really cool that. Took Older brother to a car museam. That was cool and I got some pictures.
Mom tried to buy everything in Shreveport Wal-Mart and Dollars stores so we would have to drag it back home. She just dont listen or care, guess retail therapy is the only help she'll ever seek for her psycotic behavior.
Now we are home. Getting things cleaned up. We need repairs, but it's gonna take awhile. The mortgage thing is on terminal hold now. The repairs have to be completed and another appraisal done before we can move forward on that. Maybe sometime next year we will actually owe the bank, instead of W, for this house.
The tree removal was done mostly by older brother, it took about 15 hours of moving debris, and bout 5 hours of cutting with chainsaw. We lost alot of trees, all our fences, the shed, some windows, the car port, some roof damage, and just general mess.
After a week of steady work it's actually starting to look like home again.
THAT'S why I havent posted in about two months.
Echos - repost 9-3-05
Echos
its'o weird to read the online blogs of my family in Alaska. They are echoing things that I wrote about just a few days ago. The un-reality of it all, the more immediate pain of personal loss vs. public loss (Katrina), and the thoughts about Kevin. The memories and rememberances are so alike. It really hurts to read what they are feeling, what they are remembering and what they are going through, but also, I guess we all need it. I need to know what is going on with those left behind. I need to know how they feel and how they remember Kevin. I know G is not so great a convaying the emotional stuff or the details of the happenings. So I;ve been hanging on to Aunt B, Cousin B, and Cousin J's blogs for information. Been checking email and just waiting to hear word from the family.As the one unable to go to alaska for the funeral, I feel so outside and alone in my grief. I feel like I dont get to say my goodbyes to Kevin. and that damn hurts. He's gone. really gone. They already cremated him today and have already picked up his ashes. Next weekend they will take him out to they're favorite lake, hold a good ol' fashion keg party, irish wake for him and shatter the ashes. at the memorial service, they had posters with pictures, each family member collected up their favorites and made up poster boards for him. I have a picture that shows him, KC, and B, it was halloween. Kevin was in the hospital having surgery on his wrist. KC was about 2 1/2, dresses up as a nurse, and calling him "my kevin." He told one of the black nurses that she smelled good. (it was funny at the time, he didnt remember doing it, but we all loved it.) I wish I could have added that one and that story to the service. I miss him too.I went to work today and had a normal day. If any day in the hospital can be called normal. I laughed and smiled and ate with my co-workers and went on. Now I feel so bad....He was so young, and now he's gone and now B and kids have to go on alone. They have grandma and grandpa, and aunt J. But they have a hole in their family. Like stitch says, it's broken but still good.G leaves Alaska tonight. Seven hours in the air to Dallas, and then another hour to Houston, and 2 1/2 drive home. I work days tomorrow, should be in bed already, but will get to see G tomorrow night. Not sure if I want to share this blog with the family. I want a way to connect to them again. I miss them, but they seem so... distant, both phsyicall and emotionally from me now. Like I said. Outsider once again and alone. They have each other, they dont need me. I wish they at least acknowledged me. I hurt too. At times today, I thought, "yeah, I'm okay, no big." but fawk, then I read their blogs and just sit and cry. But I have to read the blogs... just have to. I want to be a part of it. He ment something to me to. How selfish of me... I know, They are going through more of a loss than I am. I should just shut up and try blend into the woodwork. Guess, I really shouldnt share this with them. I dont think I could stand the "fawk you." I got from B.She's already venting her anger at Kevin's "cunt of a birth mom." Really dont want her angry with me too. I know she needs somewhere to put her anger right now, I would blow up in her shoes, but I dont want to be her target. Been her target before, not pleasent.emotionally spent for now.
its'o weird to read the online blogs of my family in Alaska. They are echoing things that I wrote about just a few days ago. The un-reality of it all, the more immediate pain of personal loss vs. public loss (Katrina), and the thoughts about Kevin. The memories and rememberances are so alike. It really hurts to read what they are feeling, what they are remembering and what they are going through, but also, I guess we all need it. I need to know what is going on with those left behind. I need to know how they feel and how they remember Kevin. I know G is not so great a convaying the emotional stuff or the details of the happenings. So I;ve been hanging on to Aunt B, Cousin B, and Cousin J's blogs for information. Been checking email and just waiting to hear word from the family.As the one unable to go to alaska for the funeral, I feel so outside and alone in my grief. I feel like I dont get to say my goodbyes to Kevin. and that damn hurts. He's gone. really gone. They already cremated him today and have already picked up his ashes. Next weekend they will take him out to they're favorite lake, hold a good ol' fashion keg party, irish wake for him and shatter the ashes. at the memorial service, they had posters with pictures, each family member collected up their favorites and made up poster boards for him. I have a picture that shows him, KC, and B, it was halloween. Kevin was in the hospital having surgery on his wrist. KC was about 2 1/2, dresses up as a nurse, and calling him "my kevin." He told one of the black nurses that she smelled good. (it was funny at the time, he didnt remember doing it, but we all loved it.) I wish I could have added that one and that story to the service. I miss him too.I went to work today and had a normal day. If any day in the hospital can be called normal. I laughed and smiled and ate with my co-workers and went on. Now I feel so bad....He was so young, and now he's gone and now B and kids have to go on alone. They have grandma and grandpa, and aunt J. But they have a hole in their family. Like stitch says, it's broken but still good.G leaves Alaska tonight. Seven hours in the air to Dallas, and then another hour to Houston, and 2 1/2 drive home. I work days tomorrow, should be in bed already, but will get to see G tomorrow night. Not sure if I want to share this blog with the family. I want a way to connect to them again. I miss them, but they seem so... distant, both phsyicall and emotionally from me now. Like I said. Outsider once again and alone. They have each other, they dont need me. I wish they at least acknowledged me. I hurt too. At times today, I thought, "yeah, I'm okay, no big." but fawk, then I read their blogs and just sit and cry. But I have to read the blogs... just have to. I want to be a part of it. He ment something to me to. How selfish of me... I know, They are going through more of a loss than I am. I should just shut up and try blend into the woodwork. Guess, I really shouldnt share this with them. I dont think I could stand the "fawk you." I got from B.She's already venting her anger at Kevin's "cunt of a birth mom." Really dont want her angry with me too. I know she needs somewhere to put her anger right now, I would blow up in her shoes, but I dont want to be her target. Been her target before, not pleasent.emotionally spent for now.
Where do ya get the money? -repost 9-2-05
Where do ya get the money?
The house paperwork hit yet another snag yesterday. Seems like the appraisial we had done already will not transfer to the new mortgage company. ARG, now we have to pay for another one. 350.00 down the drain for nothing. and the new mortgage company wants the contracts re-written on the selling. Another 100.00 bucks. On top of that, the closing is now going to cost about twice what we has planned for. How the fawk are we going to come up with double the money we already have saved?G, in AK with the family for the funeral, has been difficult to get ahold of. Not to mention his less than satisfactory way of convaying information and messages to/from the family to home. Can I sign him up for some major sensativity training.... hmmmm, wonder if I could get the chief of police to make it a manditory training for him and all his co-workers? For someone that makes a living paying attention to details, he sure does a lousy job of it at times. Guess you dont have to write a court ready report to the wife and family.frustration is high.
The house paperwork hit yet another snag yesterday. Seems like the appraisial we had done already will not transfer to the new mortgage company. ARG, now we have to pay for another one. 350.00 down the drain for nothing. and the new mortgage company wants the contracts re-written on the selling. Another 100.00 bucks. On top of that, the closing is now going to cost about twice what we has planned for. How the fawk are we going to come up with double the money we already have saved?G, in AK with the family for the funeral, has been difficult to get ahold of. Not to mention his less than satisfactory way of convaying information and messages to/from the family to home. Can I sign him up for some major sensativity training.... hmmmm, wonder if I could get the chief of police to make it a manditory training for him and all his co-workers? For someone that makes a living paying attention to details, he sure does a lousy job of it at times. Guess you dont have to write a court ready report to the wife and family.frustration is high.
more random thoughts - repost 9-1-05
more random thoughts
this is just so unreal to me. I went outside and just looked at my garden. one lone rosebush, a wandering jew, spider plant, cannas, one hibiscus, and a lot of weeds. But I sat and looked at it for a long time. I've been meaning to do some weeding and tending, but it's been so dang hot outside. 100+ lately. As I was sitting there, a passing thunder storm blow up and dropped some rain on us. just sat there and listened to the thunder. It only lasted about half an hour and blew itself out. But I been doing alot of thinkin, alot of remembering. How funny to be in the early 30's and be in this spot.We've been working on the getting the mortgage paperwork on the house done. We've lived here 5 years, renting to own, but now W is going thur a divorce, and we need the title in our names before the soon to be ex-wife gets her claws into our house. This process has been going on since april, and has hit several major snags here and there, but we maybe finial in the home stretch.
this is just so unreal to me. I went outside and just looked at my garden. one lone rosebush, a wandering jew, spider plant, cannas, one hibiscus, and a lot of weeds. But I sat and looked at it for a long time. I've been meaning to do some weeding and tending, but it's been so dang hot outside. 100+ lately. As I was sitting there, a passing thunder storm blow up and dropped some rain on us. just sat there and listened to the thunder. It only lasted about half an hour and blew itself out. But I been doing alot of thinkin, alot of remembering. How funny to be in the early 30's and be in this spot.We've been working on the getting the mortgage paperwork on the house done. We've lived here 5 years, renting to own, but now W is going thur a divorce, and we need the title in our names before the soon to be ex-wife gets her claws into our house. This process has been going on since april, and has hit several major snags here and there, but we maybe finial in the home stretch.
stop the world, i want off --repost 9-1-2005
stop the world, i want off
Death in the family. K. 33 years old and with 3 kids is gone. His wife, my husbands favorite cousin, is taking it really hard... go figure. SO we scrambled eggs, moved heaven and earth, moved mountains and then brought them to mohomid, to get G from Houston, TX to Kenia, AK, so he can go to the funeral.mean time, here at home, i cant stop crying. holding down the home front sucks. then my lovely mom has to call and start talking the the hurricain victims. Dont get the wrong, it's horrible and terrible whats going on, but shit, I can only process so much grief at time. Right now, this death is more personal and immediate to me. I'm cryig all the time, feeling guilty and lonely and just capital D depressed. This was so unexpected, none of us ever considered K to be in any danger. While we look for answers, there are none. The cause of death is unknown, the anchorage coraner couldnt find any signs of death and is awaiting a toxicicology report. IF he OD'ed on something, not only will B not get any of the measly 35k of insurance (hardly enough for 6 months) she'll be crushed. Anchorage cant get the reports back for a few weeks. (bullshit I say, the ER can get back lab results in 20 minutes where I work.)Trying not to call too much to G on the cell phone, I dont want to interupt him with the family too much. But gawd I wish I was there too. it still feels so unreal. How can he really be gone?fawk i didnt even really like him that much. but he was family and I didnt get to choose them, they accepted me. G brought me into the family, and they let me in. K and B were a big part of G and I dating and our early marriage. now I feel like I dont even know them anymore.we moved to TX to help care for my aging (and annoyoing) mom. They didnt like it, they were even hositle about it. So G got angry with B and hasnt talked to her before this for 4 years. Alot has happened in 4 years. I graduating nursing school and went to work. G graduated from 1 police accadamy, got hired on and then they sent him though another acadamy. That's 2 police acadmies and hundreds of miles on the car. So sick of school. Now it's my turn to go to upward mobility for the RN program. From the things I am hearing from Kenia, I wouldnt even know B now. She's writting a book, got an online graphic design BA degree. long shot from the girl I knew. Just hope its as good as they make it sound on the web site.That's my depressed, black mood, negative thought having inner self. She's playing up a limited success, and really just sitting and playing on her computer while ignoring the kids. not that G and i could throw rocks and glass houses or computer monitors. We spend alot of time on the computer too. and our kids do sit in front of the electronic babysitter too much too.damn to be perfect, i fawking hate being so damned human and flawed.stop the world, i wanna get off now.
Death in the family. K. 33 years old and with 3 kids is gone. His wife, my husbands favorite cousin, is taking it really hard... go figure. SO we scrambled eggs, moved heaven and earth, moved mountains and then brought them to mohomid, to get G from Houston, TX to Kenia, AK, so he can go to the funeral.mean time, here at home, i cant stop crying. holding down the home front sucks. then my lovely mom has to call and start talking the the hurricain victims. Dont get the wrong, it's horrible and terrible whats going on, but shit, I can only process so much grief at time. Right now, this death is more personal and immediate to me. I'm cryig all the time, feeling guilty and lonely and just capital D depressed. This was so unexpected, none of us ever considered K to be in any danger. While we look for answers, there are none. The cause of death is unknown, the anchorage coraner couldnt find any signs of death and is awaiting a toxicicology report. IF he OD'ed on something, not only will B not get any of the measly 35k of insurance (hardly enough for 6 months) she'll be crushed. Anchorage cant get the reports back for a few weeks. (bullshit I say, the ER can get back lab results in 20 minutes where I work.)Trying not to call too much to G on the cell phone, I dont want to interupt him with the family too much. But gawd I wish I was there too. it still feels so unreal. How can he really be gone?fawk i didnt even really like him that much. but he was family and I didnt get to choose them, they accepted me. G brought me into the family, and they let me in. K and B were a big part of G and I dating and our early marriage. now I feel like I dont even know them anymore.we moved to TX to help care for my aging (and annoyoing) mom. They didnt like it, they were even hositle about it. So G got angry with B and hasnt talked to her before this for 4 years. Alot has happened in 4 years. I graduating nursing school and went to work. G graduated from 1 police accadamy, got hired on and then they sent him though another acadamy. That's 2 police acadmies and hundreds of miles on the car. So sick of school. Now it's my turn to go to upward mobility for the RN program. From the things I am hearing from Kenia, I wouldnt even know B now. She's writting a book, got an online graphic design BA degree. long shot from the girl I knew. Just hope its as good as they make it sound on the web site.That's my depressed, black mood, negative thought having inner self. She's playing up a limited success, and really just sitting and playing on her computer while ignoring the kids. not that G and i could throw rocks and glass houses or computer monitors. We spend alot of time on the computer too. and our kids do sit in front of the electronic babysitter too much too.damn to be perfect, i fawking hate being so damned human and flawed.stop the world, i wanna get off now.
Friday, October 29, 2004
recognation
Am I important enough? It would be so ultra cool to have someone actually nominate me for one of those "woman of the day" kinda of things. But does anyone in my family think enough of me to do something like that? NO. To have someone praise me, write a letter about how much I mean to them, how wonderful and caring I am. I mean really, I am a caring person. Dang it....
Write a letter about me and what I do, who I am and my importance and controbutions to the world. *sigh* prolly never happen. Gary is not thoughtful enough to do so, and the kids... well kids are naturally self centered at this age. They are still in elementry school. My birth family, well, they are kinda self centered hopeless cases too.... it would take to much effort on the part of another person for them to perform an act like that. *shakes head* so much for being important to someone.
Write a letter about me and what I do, who I am and my importance and controbutions to the world. *sigh* prolly never happen. Gary is not thoughtful enough to do so, and the kids... well kids are naturally self centered at this age. They are still in elementry school. My birth family, well, they are kinda self centered hopeless cases too.... it would take to much effort on the part of another person for them to perform an act like that. *shakes head* so much for being important to someone.
Monday, October 11, 2004
working again
well so much for getting to go to the ren fair with beth. No one would work for me or trade shifts... I worked an extra shift. c'est la via I guess. the money will be nice.
Migrains again.
still dealing with death of a co-worker. how strange to be upset over it still. But part of it is that everyone seems to be talking it over and over and over again. So I end up hearing about it again and again, so very depressing.
oh well, gotta love it. Cant shot people for stupidity, but damn it would be nice. See I do have a violent temper to match the red hair, just dont show it. I'll be one of the mean grannies in the home someday, the one that no one wants to take care of. LOL. I find myself amusing.
oh well, still fighting with my computer system. It would prolly be faster if I had the time to devote an afternoon to fixing it. But as it is, it's ten minutes here or there. I stormed through the house today threatening to upgrade... I think a lap top would be nice. $$$$ yeah that'll happen.
oh well, time for rounds again. time to chart again. *smirk*
Migrains again.
still dealing with death of a co-worker. how strange to be upset over it still. But part of it is that everyone seems to be talking it over and over and over again. So I end up hearing about it again and again, so very depressing.
oh well, gotta love it. Cant shot people for stupidity, but damn it would be nice. See I do have a violent temper to match the red hair, just dont show it. I'll be one of the mean grannies in the home someday, the one that no one wants to take care of. LOL. I find myself amusing.
oh well, still fighting with my computer system. It would prolly be faster if I had the time to devote an afternoon to fixing it. But as it is, it's ten minutes here or there. I stormed through the house today threatening to upgrade... I think a lap top would be nice. $$$$ yeah that'll happen.
oh well, time for rounds again. time to chart again. *smirk*
Thursday, October 07, 2004
To really screw up you need a computer
Computer problems. my system has been having problems and due to work and my messed up sleep schedule I have been unable to complete de-bug it. So I cant get to the internet. I have fixed the problem where it freezes before completing the startup process. At least some progress there. Anyway it is frustrating due to my dependance on the internet and my computer for things like banking and bill paying, email and a connection with the outside world. Pudunk Texas is just so removed from the rest of the world. It's like living in a freaking episode of the twillight zone where everything is encased in a bubble and not aging or moving forward for 20 years behind the rest of the world.
Whinning, tantrum throwing children. Oh God love 'em. God give me the patients to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference and a really big stick to beat them with.
A former co-worker of mine died. She was mid-40's, charge nurse, very caring, someone I liked. Aleatha. Very upsetting in a vague, I dont get it, sort of way. Today was the funeral, and I had class. Was so tired after working 12 hours and going to class. Came home and slept till the children bounded in and woke me up after they got home from school.
Anyeay, There's been so many things I wanted a chance to write about this week, and have been unable to d/t the computer problems. Now as I sit in front of the keyboard they have gone away.
I did get out from under my contract with Rue, the damn money grubbing basterds. I have paid them over $800.00 but at least I dont have to pay them anything more.
Anyway, that's the update as of today, and I can remember.
Whinning, tantrum throwing children. Oh God love 'em. God give me the patients to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference and a really big stick to beat them with.
A former co-worker of mine died. She was mid-40's, charge nurse, very caring, someone I liked. Aleatha. Very upsetting in a vague, I dont get it, sort of way. Today was the funeral, and I had class. Was so tired after working 12 hours and going to class. Came home and slept till the children bounded in and woke me up after they got home from school.
Anyeay, There's been so many things I wanted a chance to write about this week, and have been unable to d/t the computer problems. Now as I sit in front of the keyboard they have gone away.
I did get out from under my contract with Rue, the damn money grubbing basterds. I have paid them over $800.00 but at least I dont have to pay them anything more.
Anyway, that's the update as of today, and I can remember.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Dream dream dream dream
Another weird dream I flet compaled to share.
Its some sort of apartment, but it only has three sides like a doll house. I am moving into this for some reason. I think I am the room mother for a group of college students. KC and Trey are amoung the students. But Trey is too young to be in school this year, maybe next year.
I am trying to come up with a way to arrang all these odd pieces of furnature into this very small living space. The bookcases are all falling apart but its all any of us have and for some reason we need all the peices of furnature. There is way too much to fit into this small space, but we need all of and I have to make it fit and still provide the girls with a study area, sleeping quarters, dinning area, kitchen and bathroom, all in sit com sized one bedroom apartment.
**now half awake and still working on this dream and problem**
Some how some bunk beds come into play. Two sets, so that's four beds and a single bed. That takes care of all the girls, they get the one bedroom. Trey and I have two single beds, we take up the far right hand corner and I start using all the massive bookcases to create false walls. ((that one had to come from my real life use of bookcase to create the illusion of another room,.)) Anyway, I have to set up these other areas. So the far left hand side is the living area with TV. My rocking chair and another one, I think it is one of the other girls, are set against the wall facing into the living space, and facing the TV. The TV is set facing the rocking chairs, the back facing into some study area, the study area again defined by bookcases and my ugle bambo box coffee table. That area is for them to do homework and keep their eyes off the TV.
I think the dinning area kinda fell off the map, I dunno what happend to it. But I am worried about Trey and how he will deal with this, us have no privacy.
anyway, by this time I am fully awake and need to write this down.
Since starting this blogger I have been using it for my dreams. Never before have I remembered my dreams as often nor have I recorded them.
The only other dream I remembered this vividly was the lions licking blood from dumpsters and myself as a child sitting in my moms van watching in horror this scene. The lions had somehow gotten out of control and were terrorizing the city. A large city that I remember, but I dont know which one. I had this dream a child and it has always haunted me. It was so real and in color. The lions looked so large and deadly they scared me.
anyway. I guess I have weird dreams but I forget them until now... when I started getting up in the middle of the night to record them here.
Its some sort of apartment, but it only has three sides like a doll house. I am moving into this for some reason. I think I am the room mother for a group of college students. KC and Trey are amoung the students. But Trey is too young to be in school this year, maybe next year.
I am trying to come up with a way to arrang all these odd pieces of furnature into this very small living space. The bookcases are all falling apart but its all any of us have and for some reason we need all the peices of furnature. There is way too much to fit into this small space, but we need all of and I have to make it fit and still provide the girls with a study area, sleeping quarters, dinning area, kitchen and bathroom, all in sit com sized one bedroom apartment.
**now half awake and still working on this dream and problem**
Some how some bunk beds come into play. Two sets, so that's four beds and a single bed. That takes care of all the girls, they get the one bedroom. Trey and I have two single beds, we take up the far right hand corner and I start using all the massive bookcases to create false walls. ((that one had to come from my real life use of bookcase to create the illusion of another room,.)) Anyway, I have to set up these other areas. So the far left hand side is the living area with TV. My rocking chair and another one, I think it is one of the other girls, are set against the wall facing into the living space, and facing the TV. The TV is set facing the rocking chairs, the back facing into some study area, the study area again defined by bookcases and my ugle bambo box coffee table. That area is for them to do homework and keep their eyes off the TV.
I think the dinning area kinda fell off the map, I dunno what happend to it. But I am worried about Trey and how he will deal with this, us have no privacy.
anyway, by this time I am fully awake and need to write this down.
Since starting this blogger I have been using it for my dreams. Never before have I remembered my dreams as often nor have I recorded them.
The only other dream I remembered this vividly was the lions licking blood from dumpsters and myself as a child sitting in my moms van watching in horror this scene. The lions had somehow gotten out of control and were terrorizing the city. A large city that I remember, but I dont know which one. I had this dream a child and it has always haunted me. It was so real and in color. The lions looked so large and deadly they scared me.
anyway. I guess I have weird dreams but I forget them until now... when I started getting up in the middle of the night to record them here.
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